[here's a picture of Earnst taken back in Oct. 91 by my sister. Earnst lived in the room next to her... the one time i met Earnst, this wierd hispanic gay man called Victor was following Earnst around going: "Earnst! Earnst! Earnst! I love your butt Earnst, it's so cute! Earnst! Earnst! Earnst!" -pogo]
Oh this is from the 2nd issue of my zine. BL - that's me and a friend EL - Elspeth, ER - Ernst, KV - Kevin. It was done after a show in Huntsville AL, and it was totally improvised.
BL - Let's ask about water chaos first...
Elspeth - Yes, water chaos, yes.
Ernst - You talk about it I have nothing to do with it!
BL - Yeah, explain it
El - Noooooo!
Kevin - I'll explain it.
El - Go ahead
KV - It's all about the power of water, what water can do for you and how water can benefit you, your life and livelihood, and how sodas are really bad.
BL - Or are they just a big fascist movement?
BL - What about all those floods in the midwest (I know this is a bit dated)?
KV - The floods? See, the water is good in a way, but too much of anything is always bad.
El - Too much is never enough for me!
BL - Well ahhh...duh...u, let's introduce everybody...
KV - No, no, wait, the floods are an example of the chaos of water! And how water relates to human society!
Er - It's the chaos inherent in the system.
Some general chaos while the band sells a 7"
Er - A little break there for some crass capitalism.
Kv - Okay, and it (the flood) is a blow against capitalism.
Er - Everything we do is a blow against capitalism.
El - Which is why we steal sodas from soda machines, and we take them and throooooow them!
Er - yes
El - After shaking them up so they will explode, spraying their viscous entrails all over the...
BL - Viscous entrails?
(Laughter)
BL - That's soda pop chaos, that's not water chaos.
Er - Yeah, if you notice our soda count is marked on the dash board over there.
Bl - How many do you have?
El - How many have we DESTROYED! Smashed?
Er- Three so far
Bl - Have you got any here in Huntsville?
Er - Not yet, but maybe we will.
(Confusion, lots of uhm's and duh's and whisperings of "quick, think of some more questions!"
Bl - Uhm...what prompted the change from JACK ACID to SKINHEAD MAGNIT?
Er - Uh...?
El - We have new people in the band
Er - Yeah!
Bl - Ouch!
Bl - We're looking for details here, our readers demand specifics.
Bl - We're wondering why.
El - Okay, here's the situation, I live in Massachussetts, right? And Ernst is in California, but he goes to school in Connecticutt, we took a year of, so we can go and be in the band with Joey, the JACK ACID band, but he's still in California and we both came back to school, and we wanted to start a new band, and we did, thus...Joey's still in California, he's in another band, I don't know their name, but they're really good, and then we are here.
Bl - Do you have any intersting drunk stories about Joey (Blatz/Gru'ups, Bumplescrump, I think)
El - Interesting drinking stories about Joey? I don't have nay but Ernst might.
Er - Oh yeah! We spend like three days in Indiana drunk, well he spent it drunk, with another fifteen people who were all drunk. We show up in Indiana, there's a mound of beer cans, Colt 45 cans on the sofa. I saw that beer and then realized there was a person underneath it, actually. But anyway, so this place is chaos, amd we go out to a sewage pit of a waterfall, to go wading for some reason, like stomping on dead fish. One of those guys who's been drunk for the three days we've been with them, probably his whole life...he's drunk, Joey's drunk. The guy says to Joey "I'll do anything for you", and Joey's like, "Well, let me piss on your chest" so he stands on this waterfall, and Joey can like piss for like five minutes straigt, and he did, on this guy's chest.
(Couple grossed out exclamations of disbelief in the backround)
Bl - I GUESS that's pretty punk
Er - Yyyyeeeeeaaaahhh, very punk. yes.
Kv - Punk's his middle name.
Bl - So what's the "punkest" thing everybody's ever done?
El - Fuck off
Er - Ow fuck.
Kv - Our blows against capitalism.
Er - Many of them
Bl - Which ones
Er - Pick one, I don't know, there's too many of them
Kv - I think...
Bl - Start with when you were young...
Kv - ...from when I was young, ahhh, I don't know, I recorded Miami Vice, every week, on audio tape, because I liked the show and that was a drastic blow against capitalism because I didn't buy the episodes amd I'd didn't spend money or whatever.
BL - So what's your impression of the south
EL - I like it
ER - The south has always been the best place (for touring), it's great, the northeast sucks, people want you to send promo pictures, they're like totally professional.
EL - So we send other band's promos and draw funny things on them
ERN - The south, everybody is nice to you, people come up and talk to you, we played a show in the north and people just sit around and won't talk to you, even after you played.
EL - They're too cool
ERN - Here, they talk to you all the time, it's nice
BL - There're "too cool" people everywhere
EL - Yeah this is true
BL - We all know about that, at least I do
Laughter
BL - What's your budget for the demos? How do you obtain them?
EL - Well, it depends, some of them we just found lying around and then Ernst steals them
ERN - Yeah, I stole a box of blank tapes, yeah I stole, I steal a lottttt of stuff
BL - You're a thief Ernst!
ERN - That's a compliment - I "liberate"
EL - He usually picks up what no one is using and uses it
Shirt sales!
KV - Big pants stink! No big pants!
BL - What if you're a skater?
ERN - What's the point of having big pants if you're a skater? You just trip!
BL (to kevin) - But don't you have big pants on?
KV - ...cuz I'm cool!
BL - Oh so Kevin's now a cool person, doing the big pants thing.
KV - Big pants yes, to an extent big pants are cool, but there's a line you cross.
BL - So what's the line?
KV - The line is when they're too big
BL - What waist size do you think those are (kevin's)
KV - Like 34
BL - What size do you wear?
KV - I wear like 28
BL - Alright!
EL - 5 inches, that's not too big at all, 10 is too big.
BL - Elspeth, you got blue teeth! (We're all eating popsicles)
BL - You should smear it all over your face, then you'd really look like the Incredible Hulk!
EL - But, I'd be blue
BL - No it's actually sort of green...no, actually it's blue, sorry.
EL(tries) - Is it working?
BL - You failed...failed
BL - You look like my 2 year old sister now
EL - Thanks
Selling more stuff
KV (impatient) - Let's get on with this...
BL - Why don't we just let Kevin go off.
KV - Okay, ask me a question!
BL - So what are you going to do about the big pants problem, Kevin?
KV - I don't know, but that's another way I can destroy society.
BL - Is how?
KV - It's a blow against skateboarding, Skateboarding is the devil's sport.
BL - Because of big pants?
KV - BECAUSE OF BIG PANTS, and the waste.
BL - Actually, the semi-big pants are coming back
KV - Yeah, that's cool, the semi-big pants are comfortable you know, everyone likes baggy pants.
BL - So what you're saying is that baggy pants are uncool...wait they're cool, right?
EL - They're fashionable
KV - They're cool
BL - So you don't like spandex either?
KV - I don't like spandex, no, but once you cross the barrier of bigness...
EL - Some are just to big, and they're made especially that way.
KV - Yeah, most of them come in red or blue, and a lot of skateboarers in Florance have them. They're huge!
BL - You trip over them, actually.
KV - Yeah, it's terrible
BL - Boy, this interview went absolutely nowhere.
BL - ...and it's not over yet.
KV - I'll tell you another thing about big pants, how come the belt went to jail?
BL - How come?
KV - Because he held up the trousers
EL - Bravo, oh my god!
KV - You like that joke?
BL - Know any other jokes?
ERN - I'm not telling any other jokes anymore
EL - Mhm, I got a great joke, alright: what does the sea say to the sand?
BL - What?
EL - Nothing! It waves!
Laughter
BL - Let Kevin go off on something else...
KV - I wanna talk about streight-edge!
BL - yeah, streight edge!
On this suspensful note I'll have to cut it off itthe next installment, cuz I'm sleepy and my nose is running like a broken down faucet...damn allergies. Anyway, stay tuned, for the third and hopefully final part where there's more sillines about sXe, Ian Mackaye, skinheads, water power, Jello Biafra, crazy Johnny, and Ernst tells a story about Joey Blatz. Hm, it looks like ther might be two more installments...
Radiki Pretty Sneezy
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